Porch Swing Views: Bikes and Struggles
Today’s temperature has climbed to a gorgeous 64°F. As we left the co-working space we love, I promised the kids a picnic on the lawn and bike riding. I texted O on the way home to let him know the plan and he sweetly pulled out Pip’s bike.
Only to discover both tires were flat. Ug.
Thankfully we live ridiculously close to the library, where there is a bike fix-it station! We drove the two minutes up there to wait in quite the line for our turn. Apparently everyone had plans to enjoy the beautiful weather!
It struck me as interesting that some people would accuse us of not “doing” school today. But, in addition to music time at our co-working space, my kids were learning all day long. And pumping up the tires was just another learning experience. I showed them the parts of the bike. They helped me located the stem on each tire. We studied each tire to find the recommended PSI and then watched the dial as we pumping in the air to make sure we didn’t over inflate!
We returned home and I worked on some personal projects on the swing while the kids traded off between bikes. That is when the big lesson came. You see, Pip wants to learn to ride a two wheeler. And for any of us who can remember that long ago, that is sometimes a tough lesson. Today he became extremely frustrated with his seemingly minimal progress in this endeavor. He came up, rather defeated, to the porch where I was seated. We discussed frustration. What it feels like, what our brain might tell us and some options. He could stop for today. And that would be just fine. Or he could continue practicing. And that would be fine too. But only he could make the decision.
Hear me loud and clear. Every bone in my mama body wanted to rescue him. I wanted to swoop in, save the day, change the plan and bring back rainbows and butterflies for this sweet boy.
But, as much as my heart wanted that, my brain knew better.
I know, from research and my career, that struggle is important. Crazy important. Struggle teaches really important things. Like confidence, problem solving, “smartS” (IQ), emotional IQ and grit. (read more here)
So, I reminded him of his options. I gave him words for his feelings. And I let him know he was accepted with either decision. But I didn’t save him. I didn’t tell him what to do. I kept my bum firmly planted on that porch swing.
Now, I would love to tell you he ran back to his bike, hopped on and rode off into the sunset. But this is the real world folks. He didn’t master the two-wheeler today. He might not master it tomorrow. But he did choose to get back on that bike and try a few more times. And my heart, silently, bust wide open.
Just my view from the front porch swing.